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I've never been great at communication. From a young age I found it really difficult to grasp that If I understood something in a certain way, it did not mean that everyone automatically understood it in the same way. Starting with the assumption that everyone was on the same page with me meant my speech and writing were often very terse, ineffective and I was responsible for many miscommunications. Improving my communication skills have been something I've been working on ever since.
Last year, David Cohen introduced me to the concept of Reflective Listening. It has changed the way I think about communication. Basically, Reflective Listening is a framework for thinking about the successful transfer of thoughts and ensures that everyone is really on the same page. It's really simple.
- Listen to what the other person is saying.
- Repeat back, in your own words what you think they said. Be detailed. And ask "Is that right?"
- Then ask "Is there anything else?" Repeat the whole process until they say "No, there is nothing else."
Reflective Listening, as implied by the name, first requires listening. Which, while thinking about what my response will be, I sometimes forget to actually do. Then report back what was heard. Asking the question "Is that right?" brings out what wasn't communicated correctly. Finally, asking if there is anything else confirms the complete picture is understood by both parties. Information transfer complete. I love this, it has been really helpful. Thanks for sharing David!
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